Sarah: Off the Record

There’s such a thing as the food chain, and humans--despite our many flaws and failings--are at the tippy top on account of our big brains, opposable thumbs, and capacity for sudden and shocking acts of violence. And I’ll be goddamned if I let a scuttley little rock creature reverse the entire goddamn food chain because I happen to be unexpectedly at the beach.

I’m not sure why we humans went all in on this “what would you take to a desert island” trope, which seems to assume we’ll both be aware — ahead of time — about this marooning and that we’ll somehow not able to also plan for our rescue.